Kalenjin Dowry Ceremony

When the groom identifies a girl he will first go and tell his parents and the parents will inform the elders of the community. The elders will go deep into the family lineage and see if they have a relationship or have a common ancestor.  If they have a relationship or come from the same clan they will not marry because it is considered as a curse by the ancestors.

The groom elders/father will go to the bridegroom’s home and seek for permit to talk to the family elders. When they agree on the marriage proposal the bride’s clan elders will ask from the groom’s family. After one week they will come with the groom for a show up. On that day they will come with two sheep and two goats. After a long discussion the groom will be teased by the bridegroom’s aunts. The bride’s family will be blessed by the bride groom’s family while the bridegroom will be blessed by the bride’s family.

The groom elders will ask for the date of the wedding when they agree for the date the groom family will go and prepare the wedding and it is usually after two weeks. The bride groom was not allowed to be seen by anybody who is not her family member.

The Wedding Day

On that day the bride groom will go to the groom’s home with her family and clan elders. The bride groom will be taken to the special hut that has been made and decorated by the groom only.

Meal Preparation

The meals were prepared by both sides. The groom’s family will prepare the following delicacy: bull’s meat, sheep, goat and the sour milk. The bride groom’s family will only prepare ugali made of millet flour mixed with sorghum, cassava and maize and a special type of beans which is white in color. The groom and his clan elders will slaughter the animals without even a single drop of blood on the ground. The bride groom will then cook ugali for the whole family without any assistance and then go back to the hut. The groom’s family will prepare the meat.

Purpose of Preparing the Meal Together

The bridegroom and the groom’s family will share things and unite in case of any problem. When the groom and the clan elder slaughter the animals, blood should not be poured down that means their love will never break. When the bride groom prepares the ugali, she shows that she loves and cares for the family waiting for her and this shows that she will care for her husband.

Preparation of Sour Milk (Mursik)

First they will need a calabash and then make a bottle from it. After making the bottle they will then decorate using beads (sonoey) this bottle (soret) will be passed from one generation to another.

From time to time during wedding, initiation or funeral ceremonies they will use the bottle (soret). The bottle will be washed using a special wood called (siitett) this process is called siit and the siitett will produce sour taste ash (tei).This ash is used to speed the milk process of being sour. They will then put the milk for four days before the wedding day. On the third day they will remove the sour milk and then siit to kill any micro-organism that will cause diseases, and then the milk will be good to drink.

The Ceremony

After the preparation the bridegroom will be given food by groom’s mother and locked up there for the rest of the day.The bridegroom’s family and the groom’s family will eat in the same table but men will sit on one side and the children and women together. They will eat while talking.

They call it a day after eating and the final drink will be for the elders’ from both communities. The drink (mursik) will be poured in the ground and the rest drunk from the same bottle. That must be done during the right before realizing the groom to see the bride.

After the celebration one last ritual must be done before releasing the dowry , the groom will be taken by the elders to the hut. The elders will leave the groom to spend the night together. The groom was supposed to make love to his wife to see if she is a virgin. Early in the morning the elders and the bride groom’s family will come and see if their child is a virgin. If so the groom’s family will release the dowry and some two or three cows for the mother and a sheep.

If the girl is a virgin the dowry was paid in half and the other half will be taken every year to promote family unity. The bride’s family were given twenty sheep, twenty five goats, five bulls and seven cows in exchange with their girl. The ceremony will end with songs and dance.

Story Prepared By:
Caroline Jeptoo and Joyline Njeri
Ruaraka High School

Kamba Marriage Ceremony

In Kamba culture, the parents were the ones who chose girls for their boys for marriage. When mature, the parents examined the girl before accepting her in the family.

Before the marriage a special ceremony was conducted. The groom and his kin had to throw an important party known as “ntheo” which was the minimum threshold that demonstrated that the bride officially belonged to the man she was engaged to. This ritual is very strict such that when a woman whose husband is yet to throw the party dies, she could not be buried by her husband no matter how long they had stayed together and if he wishes to bury her, he would have to go through the ritual.

The groom had to bring at least three goats where one is a he-goat which is slaughtered. The kamba people believe that as the blood spills to the ground the bride and the groom become officially joined that very moment. The two then share a piece of soft meat as an oath that they will keep the covenant.

From there the two are free to hold a marriage ceremony whether in Christianity or traditional way.

Story Prepared by:

Onesmus Mutiso, Faith Mutheu and Josephine Kamene

RUARAKA HIGH SCHOOL

Tiriki Traditional Marriage Ceremony

Amongst the tiriki, a luhya sub tribe, traditional marriage practices occurred after the boy and the girl had decided to get marryies. Both parents were informed about their decision and if they were okay with it, the marriage arrangements would start immediately.

First they would set a day for the dowry discussion and later they would celebrate and may be the boy would be allowed to take his wife before the dowry was brought or denied to take the bride until the dowry was brought.

On the day of dowry discussion, the groom came to the girl’s home accompanied by his parents, uncles and friend. He was accompanied by his uncle because they represented the parents even in the case where one or both of the parents had passed on. On the other hand the bride was hidden and the  parents could attend the meeting alongside with the aunts and the girls friends.

When the meeting was still going on some relatives and some friends of the bride’s family would be in the kitchen preparing a meal that both families and would share if they reached to an agreement. The traditional meals that were prepared included, chicken, beef stew, ugali and busaa (a traditional brew among the abaluhyia).

When the meeting would be almost over and they have reached an agreement, the girl could be brought in the open and would happily be accepted by her groom, then the meeting would be called off and the celebration would start. After the celebration had ended, the in-laws were supposed to have gone by six o’clock. The boy would be allowed to go with the bride before the dowry was brought and they would be packed for some foods by the bride’s mother to the couple’s, in a basket that would be returned later with some food stuffs for the bride’s mother.

NB: Usually the bride price was not brought in full so as to cement the relationship of the two families.

Story Prepared by:
Silvia Khatetsia, Hadija Ashuma, Yvonne Jeiza,Salome Macreen and Rose Ondeche
Ruaraka High School

Luo Traditional Marriage Ceremony

After the bridegroom and the bride have decided to get married, they both discuss the matter or give the news to both parents. If both parents have agreed with the plan they then get together for the preparation with the help of some elders and in- laws. While in preparation dealings, they both discuss about the bride price they normally give a bull and a cow also they give out a goat.

The bride price is not paid as a whole so that it can cement their relationship .The bride should not prepare food for the groom’s family or the in-laws the same applies to the groom’s family. The bride’s family is the only one who is supposed to prepare the food. It is said that the bride should not be around the cooking area or within the compound.

The bride’s mother should prepare chicken “Gweno” and other meals are also included example are cow’s meat “ring dhiang” whereby the cow should be slaughtered on that day. The people who were preparing food are the ones who are involved with serving the groom’s family.

The groom’s in –law/ family should not stay at the bride’s house till 6:00 pm since it may end up bringing conflict between the two families.

After that, the bride and the bridegroom are given five weeks to prepare for the wedding ceremony. It is said that the girl should be placed in the house for three days before marriage. The locking of the girl is to ensure that the girl is fully prepared for marriage.

After the three days  the bride and bridegroom are supposed to spend the night together, the reason to that is to confirm whether that she is a virgin by the grandmother “Dani” and the news is spread to both the in- laws when they meet again.

Now the girl is handed on to the bridegroom family so that the ceremony can continue whereby it may be the last since she has been handed over.

Story Prepared by:
Sharon Atieno, Fiona Achieng, Quinter Anyango, Viona Akinyi, Quinter Achieng,Levina Anango, Queen Aoko, Phoebe Adhiambo, Ann Atieno, Sharon Adhiambo,Lavender Achieng, Belindah Nereah, Lavender Mewa and Meldon Awuor
Ruaraka High School

Luhya Marriage Practices

Amongst the luhyia community, we have several sub tribes they include the Tiriki, Bukusu,Wanga, Idakho, Maragoli  e.t.c

However, all these sub-tribes  have similarities and differences in the way they conduct their marriage ceremony. That is for the tiriki and wanga the boy would catch the girl while she is either going to fetch water or firewood and the other sub-tribe some would lock up the girl in their rooms (isimba) and then wait for the following day to go and report to the girl’s parents that they have their sheep (girl) at their house.

After the girl has agreed or the parents have agreed to marry, they would all arrange for the traditional marriage including the dowry. On the day of the marriage ceremony to take place there will be a meeting from both families to organize how they will take the girl if they had reached to an agreement of the dowry, however, if they had not reached to an agreement there will be no marriage that would occur until they have agreed for them to do so.

On the other hand on the day of the ceremony the groom would come to the home accompanied by his parents, his friend and even his uncles, it involved his uncles because if anything happens to the groom’s father and a problem arise to the marriage the uncles will act as the parents while the meeting is going on. The girl’s family that is the parents, friends and aunties they choose aunties because of the same reason as the boy’s uncle. The girl will be hidden while other relatives will be preparing some traditional foods for example ugali, chicken and busaa (a traditional brew).

After the meeting is over and both families have agreed the day the dowry will be brought they may decide to allow the boy to go with the girl or disagree. They will all celebrate for the wedding and before 6 pm. The in- laws were supposed to have left. The dowry (discussed number of cows, sheep or goat) would be brought on the agreed date.

Story Prepared by:
Silvia Khatetsia, Hadija Ashuma, Yvonne Jeiza,Salome Macreen and Rose Ondeche
Ruaraka High School

Kikuyu Traditional Marriage Ceremony

The Kikuyu culture is a well known cultural group that is predominantly found in the central highlands of Kenya. Customarily, marriage proceedings often began with the man proposing to the woman. After she agrees to be married, a series of events will follow. The bride to be approaches her parents and informs them of her intentions of marrying. The parents then enquire about the man’s background e.g. clan from which he comes from, this is to ensure that there is no cross marriage between family members. The groom also breaks the news to his parents and does the same. After that both parents of the lady and the man meet to negotiate and set a date for the payment of dowry, this is strictly done between elders. On this day the first things to be taken by the groom’s family were a he- goat and she- goat which has not yet given birth. The male and female goats were known as mwate na hareka.

Dowry payment is a series of events namely:-
1. Kumenya mucii - getting to know the brides home.2. Kuhanda ithigi - Literally means planting a branch of a tree3. Kuracia - Actual dowry payment

On the set the bride- to- be  and her relatives do all the cooking for example mukimo cooked with stinging nettle (thafai), chapatti , black beans (njahi) and bunch of bananas (mukano), while on the other side the father and young men relatives roasted some meat while waiting to receive dowry. This is called ruracio , a feast where the groom and his family bring the dowry at the bride –to –be home and show up at about 1pm. On the arrival the groom’s family will find the gate closed. This is a sign to show that they must sing their way in. Then the bride -to -be and her female relatives welcome them in with songs and dances. After settling in and before any eating the bride to be is taken away by her fellow female in-laws and relatives, there she is given some advice meanwhile the groom starts ( kuhanda ithigi) planting a branch of tree which symbolizes that the lady has been booked by the groom. He then starts the payment process together with his parents and elders to the parents of the lady and their elders.

The dowry could be:-1. Goima – fattened ram2. Thenge - He goat – this could be from 99 of them onwards depending on the negotiation made because for example in Kiambu, one has to take 120 goats and 20 cows,                               after that two more goats are slaughtered (kugurania). In this each, meat part had a specified person to take it. 3. Mori – heifer 4. Njohi ya uuki – beer made from honey for the elders as a sign of respect.5. Cows

If the groom didn’t bring all the required dowry negotiated earlier he is expected to remember to finish his payment, failure to do so spells dishonor to that family.

After this the bride- to -be is finally recalled and becomes a bride. They all happily feast and eat together. The bride’s family then gives some items to the bride to carry to their home such as kyondo – weaving basket,  ciihuri-calabash, lesos, nyungo- pot, mukwa –new rope, a blanket and bed sheets for the bride’s mother, handkerchiefs for the sisters and honey for preparing “muratina” (beer).

As the bride leaves with the groom the bride’s parents then wait to do the last process which is itara- getting to see the nest or nestling place of their daughter.

Story Prepared By:
Grace Njoki, Elizabeth Gitau, Eunice Waithira, Beatrice Nyambura,Rachael Njeri, Eddah Njoki, Jane Wanjiru, Pauline Wangari and Victoria Warue
RUARAKA HIGH SCHOOL

ITALIAN TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE

According to Italian traditional marriage, when a man wanted to ask for a woman’s hand in marriage, he had to speak to the bride-to-be’s father. Once the father agreed and both the families were fine with it, presents of acceptance between families were exchanged. These could be home items and so on. It was customary for the prospective groom to place a diamond ring on his bride-to-be’s middle finger before the engagement was announced and later on after doing a small engagement party a wedding date is set, though they were not to marry in the month of May and August. Since the month of May was dedicated to Virgin Mary because all Italians belong to Catholic Church. August instead was considered to be the month of sickness and bad luck. Most couples were getting married on Sundays as it was considered a lucky day.

During the wedding day a white ribbon above the church entrance was tied. this shows that a union was taking place in the church. The bride and the groom to be used to walk towards the altar together symbolizing the journey of marriage.

In those days the brides were to wear green gowns symbolizing fertility or a long white handmade gown. Neither the bride nor the groom was to buy wedding rings. It was to be bought by the wedding testimony couples as a gift and a sign of commitment to the new couple, also there was no dowry payment but both families of the groom and bride divided the wedding ceremony expenses equally. This is carried out up to today.

After exchanging vows as the bride and the groom walk outside the church door, rice was thrown to the newly wedded couple as a sign of prosperity both in wealth and children. It is also kept till now. After taking some photos in the church, doves were released as a symbol of love and happiness. The doves could be bought by either friends of the wedded couple or family relatives. Then they all headed to the reception which was to be in a restaurant, never in the open air. Once through with the eating and some show dances, a toast had to be made. No wedding could be without a toast; they were to do so with a half filled cup of white wine. They then used to toast “Hurray for the newlyweds!” (Evviva gli sposi).

Presents were then given to the newlyweds by members of the family and friends. The bride’s family used to give towels, bed sheets, pillows and bed covers,  they were to be all in white as a sign of marriage and beginning of new life together. A golden necklace was given by the groom’s family to the bride as a sign of acceptance. This brought the end of the ceremony. As the guests walked out the groom and the bride gave each of them confetti. These are packed sweet-like colour white put in a small silk cloth together with some coins – sign of richness, rice-sign of many children and a ceramic small angel –sign of God’s love and protection.

This was given as a thanksgiving to the ones who attended the wedding and their beginning of a new life as a couple. Up to today some of these traditions are still kept.



Story Prepared By:
Elisa D’Andrea